Talk:Accepting the Inevitable

By Vishal Agarwal

Since the beginning of history, humans have been searching for the elixir of eternal life. But the fact is that whatever is created must perish one day. Nothing that is physical or material lasts forever. And therefore, even though we can prolong our lives by a few decades, death of the physical body one day is inevitable. Hindu scriptures emphasize that death is the greatest truth of our lives. Other things may happen or not happen after we are born, but all surely die one day. There are numerous sacred narratives of individuals performing austerities to please a Deity and ask them for the boon of immortality. However, each story shows the deity declining to grant that boon because everyone must die one day. No elixir can give us immortality. Saint Paltu remarks-

The Divine Physician Dhanvantari too died, no one ever became immortal.

Hindu teachings declare: The body is called Sharīra because it decays (shīryate). Rigveda, Aitareya Āraṇyaka 2.1.4.11 To one who is born, death is certain. And for the dead, there is certainly rebirth. Gita 2.27ab None can transcend old age and death, even if he has traversed the entire earth to the very shore of the distant ocean. Mahābhārata 12.28.15 Old age and death are like two wolves that devour everyone – strong, weak, short and tall. Mahābhārata 12.28.14 Do not grieve, because all creatures are transitory and die one day. Instead, continue to practice Dharma, because Dharma alone accompanies us. Kātyāyana Smriti 22.4 When this world, the oceans, and even the gods will perish one day, then how come a human being can live eternally in this world of mortals? Kātyāyana Smriti 22.6 This body is made of five elements and eventually merges into these five elements after performing its deeds. Then why should one grieve? Kātyāyana Smriti 22.7 As all accumulations eventually get dissipated, as all rise ends in a fall, and as all unions lead to separations, so do all lives lead to death. Kātyāyana Smriti 22.8

We are so lost in the present moment, in love with our family and friends or even with material things, that we forget the temporary nature of all our relationships. Therefore, the death of a near and dear one often comes as a shock to us and it takes time for the reality of death to sink in our minds. Grief at the death of one’s beloved is natural, but we forget that we came alone into this world and leave this world alone as well. A constant awareness of the ephemeral nature of all human relationships can certainly help one cope with the grief of loss much better. No one really belongs to another eternally. Hindu teachings remind us-

All these sons and relatives had appeared from an invisible place and have now returned to the same invisible abode. They did not belong to you, nor did you belong to them. Then why and for whom do you grieve? Mahābhārata 11.2.13

The Hindu doctrine of rebirth upon death, which we will discuss later, further emphasizes that we have different relationships in each lifetime. There is no guarantee that relationships in one lifetime (e.g., that of a husband and wife), will replicate identically in future lifetimes.

We have been reborn in this world repeatedly and have experienced the happiness of being with thousands of mothers, fathers, sons, and wives. But to whom do they belong, and to whom do we belong today? Mahābhārata 11.2.21

Story: Gautama Buddha teaches Kisa Gautami to accept Death

A woman named Kisa Gautami, who lived at the same time as Buddha, lost her only son. She became very upset. She carried her dead boy from one house to another, begging people to revive him and make him alive again.

Everyone took pity on her, and they tried to reason with her that people who die do not come back to life. But she would not give up and cried even more. Then, someone suggested to her, “Why don’t you go and see Buddha? He is a great saint. Perhaps, he will do a miracle, and bring your dead son back to life.”

Kisa rushed to the Buddha, and said, “Master, I have heard great things about your spiritual powers. I had only one son, who was the joy of my life. But a cruel disease snatched him from us and now he is dead in my arms. Please take pity on me and bring him back to life. I will become your student for the rest of my life.”

The Buddha looked at her with compassion and said, “Your son can come back to life if we make an ointment with mustard seeds. But the mustard seeds must be procured from a home in which the family has never experienced any death.”

Kisa suddenly saw a ray of hope. She was overjoyed. She immediately got up and started knocking one door after another. By evening, she had knocked at the door of every home in the city. But she could not find a single home where the residents had not had a single death in their family. Disappointed, she went back to Buddha and said, “Master, I have learned my lesson. Whosoever is born will die one day. No one lives forever. There is no one who has not seen or heard a dear one die. I was foolish to believe that my son will live forever or that he can come back to life. Now, I have no desire to revive him from death, because I have understood the true nature of life. I have realized that nothing is permanent in this world. We all must die one day.” Buddha smiled with compassion, and he invited her to become his disciple, which she accepted.