Talk:Guidelines for Raising Children: Learn from your Children

By Vishal Agarwal

One of the longest Upaniṣads, namely the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad, has a passage (3.5.1) that seems to exalt some traits of a child while discussing the path of spirituality –

Therefore, let a Brāhmaṇa, after he has done with his learning, desire to live as a child. Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad 3.5.1

This passage has been the subject of a prolonged discussion in the commentaries on Brahmasūtra 3.4.47–50, which clarify that the sacred text does not mean that all wisdom and learning must be shunned in order to attain mokṣa. Rather, the text means that a learned man must become free of cunning, arrogance, sexual desires and other such negatives if he wishes to progress on the path of spirituality. This is also clarified by another Upaniṣad –

One should cultivate the characteristics of a child, which are innocence and non-attachment. Yajurveda, Subāla Upaniṣad 13

It is truly unfortunate that as we grow from childhood to become adults, we tend to acquire some negative traits like prejudice, being judgmental about others, selfishness and so on. Children offer us a living example of how we can coexist with love, straightforwardness and honesty with each other.

Story: Parāśar Bhaṭṭar and Sarvajña Bhaṭṭa

The Hindu Dharm honors numerous children and teenagers as our sages whose teachings are included in the scriptures. One such sage was Parāśar Bhaṭṭar, who showed signs of great wisdom even as a child. A renowned scholar named Sarvajña Bhaṭṭar was being carried on a palanquin in the town of Śrīraṅgam with his students declaring loudly that their teacher knew everything. The five-year-old child Parāśar Bhaṭṭar stood in the path of the palanquin with a closed fist and asked, “If you know everything, can you tell me the number of grains of sand in my fist?” Sarvajña Bhaṭṭar was dumbfounded. The child Parāśar said, “It is just a fistful of sand grains. What is the use of knowing how many grains there are? Likewise, what is the use of all your knowledge if you do not know the Lord, who knows everything? You and your students should be praising the All-Knowing Lord instead of their human teacher, who cannot possibly know everything.” Sarvajña Bhaṭṭar was so impressed with the child that he got off the palanquin, lifted him on his shoulders and asked that he be taken to his parents’ home. As Parāśar Bhaṭṭar grew to adulthood, he became a Sanyasi and wrote many books on dharm.

Do not Sermonize Kids – Set an Example for your Children

No one likes to hear sermons. Even the Śāstras intersperse their teachings within numerous sacred parables and stories for illustration and edification. Parents can teach their children better by setting an example through their own conduct rather than merely preaching but not practicing what they preach.

"Many a times parents who want their children to be cultured, send them to our cultural classes for children… The parents say, ‘you go to Bala Vihar (BV), we will watch T.V.!’ So they want culture only for their children and not for themselves! … We have seen many times that parents show a lot of concern for their children. And if we ask them, ‘What do you yourself know about any of the scriptures of culture’? Their answer is, ‘We don’t know anything’. And, they take culture for granted. They think, ‘We don’t need to know anything because we have come from India and it is in every cell of our body, every drop of our blood.’ The fact is that many of the parents themselves do not know anything of their culture."