Talk:How to Honor our Elders

By Vishal Agarwal

Honor can be shown to our elders in various ways:

Let him respectfully greet his elders and give them his own seat. He should sit near them with his hands joined in reverence and follow behind them when they go. (Manusmṛti 4.154)

One has three supreme elders – mother, father and teacher. He must always serve them obediently and do whatever they ask. He must do what is pleasing and beneficial to them. He must not carry out anything without their permission. (Viṣṇu Dharmasūtra 31.1-6)

Whenever an elderly person visits you, bow to them, offer them a seat and then offer service to them with folded hands. And when they are leaving, follow them to a short distance to see them off. (Mahābhārata 13.104.65b-66a)

Sometimes, in our old age, we lose control over our verbal, physical and mental activities. Rather than making fun of our incapacitated elders, we should treat them with love and compassion and not broadcast their age-related infirmities to others. Furthermore, due to a loss of judgment, they might commit some mistakes. We should forgive them even more easily than we forgive those who are not elderly:

We should not judge the actions of the elderly. Let them say and do what they wish. Why do we need to describe them to others. (Uttararāmacharita of Bhavabhūti 5.34)

Rules of Etiquette for Honoring and Serving Parents, Elders and Seniors

1. We never address our parents by their names.
2. We never shout at them, even when we have an argument with them. We try not to talk back to them.
3. We never sit with our feet facing them. If we sit on a chair with our legs crossed, the foot on the top should face away from them.
4. We serve them food before filling our own plate.
5. When there are insufficient chairs in a room, we give the seat to them and stand ourselves.
6. We greet our parents with respect in the morning, and before going to bed.
7. We try to fulfill their requests and wishes to the best possible extent.
8. We do not smoke or drink in their presence (and better, not even in their absence).
9. We obey their wishes cheerfully and act on them.
10. Seek their advice on important matters of one’s life. We defer to their opinion because they are wiser and more knowledgeable, if we are not sure of our own judgment and wisdom.
11. When they become old and sick, take care of them.
12. Have them preside over all important ceremonies and functions of the family and self-owned business.
13. On occasions like weddings, invitation cards should be sent out in their names.
14. Respect seniority of employees at work. Value their experience.
15. Pay your social security tax sincerely. Advocate for legal bills that protect the rights of the elderly.