Talk:Joint Families

By Vishal Agarwal

Śāstras presume this type of family and even today, a large chunk of people are a part of the Joint Family. In this type of family, all unmarried children and grandchildren, as well as married males descended from the same married couple with their own families live under the same roof under a ‘head of the household’ who is typically the eldest male of the household. The eldest lady, typically the wife of the head of household wields a lot of influence and authority in domestic matters. Married daughters and granddaughters are not considered a part of the household as they have become a part of their husbands’ household. Income earned by all members is pooled together and under the guidance of the head of the household and his wife, it is divided among the various members of the large household according to their needs. In several cases, after the head of the household dies, his eldest son takes the role and all of his younger brothers and their families and unmarried sisters defer to his authority and guidance. The Śāstras discuss the Joint Family in the context of inheritance laws, which can be quite varied and complex. In general, when the head of the household dies, it is a matter of time before the married brothers separate off to create their own independent families. The widowed mother moves in with one of the sons and the unmarried daughters also move in with one of their brothers.

The joint family system has some advantages as well as disadvantages. The members of the large household have considerable support as the families of brothers become very close to each other and so do their children. In times of need, everyone comes together to help out the aggrieved family member. In this multigenerational setting, the elderly members are taken good care of emotionally and otherwise and they spend their golden years in the company of their grandchildren. Food is cooked in a common kitchen (typically) with everyone helping out with the same and in raising the household children. The drawbacks are the individual members are constrained by the norms and guidance of elderly members of the household. This often leads to discontent and bickering, especially when one son is earning much more or much less compared to the others. There is a hierarchy of statuses and relationships in the household that might not appeal to the more egalitarian minded members. The domestic fire for Vedic yajñas is the responsibility of the head of the household. Upon his death, if the sons separate, they consecrate their separate sacred fires and therefore, due to the expansion of one sacred altar into many, their separation upon the death of the head of the household is considered a welcome development.

The process of breakup of a Joint Family can happen in several stages – separation of finances, separation of kitchen, moving out of one of the married or unmarried sons while their father is still alive and so on. In many traditional homes, the breakup of joint family, especially when the elderly grandparents who lead it are alive, is frowned upon and the members that are branching out are blamed for it. On the flip side, the head of the household and the other elders can be sometimes extremely authoritarian and stifle the ambitions, voices and lifestyles of some of the members, causing them to split off.