Talk:Less Common Relationships and Families: Gay Marriages

By Vishal Agarwal

Hindū dharm is the only faith that does not condemn anyone, let alone LGBTQ, to an eternal hell. There is no strong negative opinion on unconventional relationships. In the Śāstras, non-heterosexuals and those who do not conform to the male–female gender binary are included in a category called “third nature” or as eunuchs. However, it is stated emphatically that they have the same spark of the Divine in them as heterosexual men and women.

The true “I” or our ātmā has no gender, race, or physical form.

The ātmā is not a woman nor a man nor is it a eunuch. Whichever particular body it assumes, it is connected with that very form. Śvetāśvatara Upaniṣad 5.10

We are all Divine and equally so in our essential nature. Which is why, the Īśvara declares in the Vedas:

I (The Divine) am all, whether eunuchs, men or women. Yajurveda, Taittirīya Āraṇyaka 1.11.10

Likewise, Divine blessings are available equally to all, even to those who are homosexuals:

By devoting oneself to the service of Śiva, and seeking communion with His Name, men, women and even the eunuchs reach the Supreme abode of Rudra. Śivadharmottara Upapurāṇa 2.166

The reality of karmavāsanās and punarjanma provides a rationale for why people are born the way they are. The Hindū Dharm and texts do not condone homosexual relationships and do not try to normalize them, but they do not contain very strict condemnation either. In a non-religious text , namely the Kāmasūtra 2.9.36, it is mentioned that sometimes couples of the same gender with deep love and faith in each other can choose to live together in matrimony, indicating that gay marriages were not entirely unknown in ancient India.

Unfortunately, some parents force their gay children to marry a person of the opposite gender, which ruins the lives of both. One could make several arguments to support gay marriages. Prominent leaders like Swāmī Cidānanda Sarasvatī of Pārmārth Niketan at Ṛṣikeśa are performing weddings of gay couples. In Nepal, the Supreme Court legalized gay marriages several years ago.

Some people argue that a gay couple cannot marry because Śāstras say that we are all born with a debt to our Ṛṣis (sages), Devas (the Divine) and Pitṛs (the ancestors), and that the last debt is repaid only if we can have our own children. This same argument was used several centuries back to say that people cannot become monks or ascetics (sannyāsīs) because they are celibate and therefore do not have children. But Dharmācāryas argued that a duty is not obligatory on someone who cannot fulfill it. A little child is not responsible for providing for his parents, and a sannyāsī likewise is not obliged to repay the three debts which become repayable only when a heterosexual couple marries. It is just like the fact that your educational loans become due only after you graduate from college.

Using this argument, Dharma-nibandha (digests of dharm) authors allowed people to become celibate sannyāsīs. In any case, there are many heterosexual couples who do not have biological children. Our scriptures allow them to adopt kids. In fact, biological children are only one of several types of children that our scriptures list. To summarize, this argument is not valid for disallowing gay couples from marrying each other because they can become parents through surrogacy or adoption – both of which are allowed in Hindū dharm without prejudice.

Some argue that the Vedic wedding ceremony mantras and the ṣoḍaśa saṁskāra mantras (16 rites of passage in our lives) presume a male father and a female mother. Therefore, our ceremonies cannot be used to marry a gay couple or perform ceremonies for their adopted children. But in our own scriptures like the Kalpasūtras, there are thousands of examples where the gender, number, and even the meaning of Vedic mantras are altered to suit different situations. For instance, the mantra dadhikrāvṇo akāriṣam… deals with the horse Dadhikra of King Trasadasyu and is therefore meant for the Aśvamedha royal ceremony. But in fact, it is often employed (viniyoga) in conjunction with the use of curds (dadhi in Sanskrit) in śrauta and smārta prayogas simply because the word dadhi occurs in the name of the horse Dadhikra. To summarize, it is an acceptable practice to modify the mantras of Vedic scriptures to perform a wedding of a gay couple.

Raskhān

According to Śāstras and saints, we can change our gender from life to life. This happens roughly after four rebirths, but in some cases a person changes gender after, say, 20 rebirths. In such cases, the latent vāsanās (mental impressions) give the person a svabhāva or prakṛti (nature) that is contrary to the people of his own gender. This explanation has been used by our Svāmīs in literature to explain homosexuality.

Raskhān, born a gay Muslim, became a devotee of Kṛṣṇa when his gift of a shawl miraculously appeared on the image of Kṛṣṇa in the Bāṅke Bihārī temple in Vṛndāvana, even though he was stopped from entering the temple. He spent the rest of his life worshipping Kṛṣṇa and composing poetry in his praise. Today, Raskhān is regarded as a Hindū saint.