Talk:The Not So Perfect Family Life

By Vishal Agarwal

The reality of family life is that perfection is rare. Even great saints and ṛṣis, capable of inspiring strangers, often faced difficulties within their own households. No family is without flaws, no individual is entirely free of ailments or weaknesses, and human joys are never everlasting.

There is no family without some flaws, no person that has no illness, no one who is free of all addictions and none whose joys are everlasting. Cāṇakya Rājanītiśataka 14

A good-hearted person may even blame himself for the wrongdoings of an ill-natured family member. Betrayal by loved ones causes deep pain, yet dwelling on such wounds only prolongs suffering. Forgiveness or appropriate chastisement is advised so that one may move on.

Even in the hour of death, the thoughts of friends who left you in your hour of need will hurt your heart. Tirukkuṟaḷ 799

Wisdom texts also counsel vigilance, reminding us not to be overly trusting or too straightforward, for it makes one vulnerable.

One should never be too straightforward nor too soft. Straight trees are cut in a forest and the crooked trees remain as they were. Garuḍa Purāṇa 1.114.50

When subjected to gossip or backbiting by loved ones, one must recognize that such actions reflect the character of the other, not oneself.

Only fake people criticize others or say bad things about them behind their backs. Genuine and truthful persons always criticize others in front of them. Mahābhārata 12.132.13

Story: The King who became a Saint

Rāja Bhartrihari, the noble ruler of Ujjain, was a devout bhakta of Śiva. One day, Devī Pārvatī, pleased with his devotion, gifted him a divine fruit that would restore youth and preserve eternal handsomeness. Out of love for his queen, Bhartrihari decided not to consume it himself but offered it to her.

The queen, however, secretly loved the military commander. She gave the fruit to him, who in turn passed it to a maid he loved. The maid gave it to a laborer she cared for, who then gave it to a poor woman working in the fields. Eventually, the poor woman, recognizing the greatness of her king, presented the same fruit to Bhartrihari the next morning.

Shocked, the king realized it was the very fruit he had gifted to his queen. Upon confrontation, the queen admitted her deceit, and Bhartrihari discovered the chain of betrayals through which the fruit had traveled.

Overwhelmed with sorrow, he reflected: “All worldly relations are fragile and false. Love often disguises selfishness, and betrayal lurks even in trusted bonds. Instead of relying on human affection, I should place all my trust, faith, and devotion in Bhagavān Śiva.”

This awakening led him to renounce worldly life and become a saint, remembered for his wisdom and dispassion.